how are you okay but not great i am

longing

deepening

not sure from where it stems but

nostalgia is part of it

for a time

i thought i found myself

but i found out now i’m still finding me

so nostalgia is only part of

dread

dread is part of it

i’m finding

me and the dread part

is

letting go of the old and embracing the new

which is scary and this feeling

is nothing

all people experience this

departure

of the self from the self from

the other not prepared for

self-changes in the other

part of it is

steeping

from somewhere

not sure where but

i will likely return there in

longing